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Posts Tagged ‘privilege’

These last two days of training were just super intense for me. I mean talking about Power, Privilege and Oppression isn’t easy to talk about anyway and then you tie it Racism and it’s intense. I keep with me during training a little notebook to write down my thoughts while we are in discussions. It helps with my learning disability to process the information. Anyways, every time I started feeling anxious, or uncomfortable I wrote down in BIG letters down the page “TRUST THE PROCESS.” I have to admit…must easier to just write it down then to really trust the process.

For me, I haven’t taken much thought into how my race ties into the other parts of my life. I do know that yesterday was really eye opening for me, and really uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to even respond to some of the things we talked about because of my lack of experience.

I did however share an experience I had with interpersonal oppression.  Which to give you some background is a difficult thing for me.  I don’t really share at all in the larger group, but have set goals for myself to share at least once every training. But that’s straying from what I meant to say…Hmm…what was i saying….

 

Oh that’s right my story…

So, i shared that story for the first time ever with anybody, let alone a group, and it was such a great experience for me.  I felt supported and better for sharing and letting it out.

On a side note, this process of being a Public Ally is just getting hard for me.  I’m feeling very stressed, and very overwhelmed.  I know that this means it’s time to access my support system, and reach out.  *sigh*  I think i’ll also go with what Ryan talked about and add a little humor! 🙂  Laughing is sometimes one of the best medicines.

I found the perfect quote to fit what I felt like because after training I felt like my mind had just exploded with information and I was wandering around trying to process…which led to…

“Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.”

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Watching this makes me very sad. As a Muslim women whose partner is from this town, I can’t seem to shake off the shock and pain each and every time I see displays of Islamophobia, no matter how common they are, in my world.

I’m hoping tomorrow’s conversation on power, privilege, and race can hold the space for me to let go and maybe transform some of this bottled up hurt. Into what? I have no idea…

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