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Posts Tagged ‘Power’

These last two days of training were just super intense for me. I mean talking about Power, Privilege and Oppression isn’t easy to talk about anyway and then you tie it Racism and it’s intense. I keep with me during training a little notebook to write down my thoughts while we are in discussions. It helps with my learning disability to process the information. Anyways, every time I started feeling anxious, or uncomfortable I wrote down in BIG letters down the page “TRUST THE PROCESS.” I have to admit…must easier to just write it down then to really trust the process.

For me, I haven’t taken much thought into how my race ties into the other parts of my life. I do know that yesterday was really eye opening for me, and really uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to even respond to some of the things we talked about because of my lack of experience.

I did however share an experience I had with interpersonal oppression.  Which to give you some background is a difficult thing for me.  I don’t really share at all in the larger group, but have set goals for myself to share at least once every training. But that’s straying from what I meant to say…Hmm…what was i saying….

 

Oh that’s right my story…

So, i shared that story for the first time ever with anybody, let alone a group, and it was such a great experience for me.  I felt supported and better for sharing and letting it out.

On a side note, this process of being a Public Ally is just getting hard for me.  I’m feeling very stressed, and very overwhelmed.  I know that this means it’s time to access my support system, and reach out.  *sigh*  I think i’ll also go with what Ryan talked about and add a little humor! 🙂  Laughing is sometimes one of the best medicines.

I found the perfect quote to fit what I felt like because after training I felt like my mind had just exploded with information and I was wandering around trying to process…which led to…

“Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.”

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